Serious and Funny Things
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| TRINITY EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH An Ancient and Future Church Celebrating 150 Years of Ministry 3747 Trinity Church Road - Concord, NC 28027 - Church Office: 704.933.3550 - Preschool: 704.933.3551 E-mail - trinitychurch@aol.com |
Data on Trinity
3747 Trinity Church Road
Concord, NC 28027
Phone: 704.933.3550
E-mail: trinitychurch@aol.com
Sunday Services
8:35 a.m. Contemporary
9:45 a.m. Learning Hour
11:00 a.m. Traditional
Rev. Dr. Gil Gilbert, Pastor
Mission Statement
To WELCOME all people
into the life of the
congregation;
To EQUIP them with the
Gospel of Jesus Christ;
And to SEND them out to
share and invite others so
that all might know.
3747 Trinity Church Road
Concord, NC 28027
Phone: 704.933.3550
E-mail: trinitychurch@aol.com
Sunday Services
8:35 a.m. Contemporary
9:45 a.m. Learning Hour
11:00 a.m. Traditional
Rev. Dr. Gil Gilbert, Pastor
Mission Statement
To WELCOME all people
into the life of the
congregation;
To EQUIP them with the
Gospel of Jesus Christ;
And to SEND them out to
share and invite others so
that all might know.
On the Lighter Side...
BIBLE = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
One whale talking to another:
Whale 1: Upset Stomach?
Whale 2: Nah, Jonah's renovating again.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will
never die.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
Don't knock procrastination. It saves lots of useful work.
Who says worry doesn't help. All those things I worry about don't happen.
Love your enemies. They'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
Blessed are the quilters for they are known as piecemakers.
From Charlie Osborn, A Catholic Evangelist:
- God loves you.
-- How do you know?
- Because He loves me.
-- Yeah, I guess if He loves you, He can love anybody.
At a seminar, students entering the room for lunch found a sign on the buffet table that said, 'Take
only one apple. God is watching you.'
At the other end of the table was a large tray of chocolate cookies with a hastily scribbled sign which
read: 'Take as many cookies as you want. God is back there watching the apples!'
Calvin: You know, I don't think math is a science, I think it's a religion.
Hobbes: A religion?
Calvin: Yeah. All these equations are like miracles. You take two numbers and when you add them,
they magically become one NEW number! No one can say how it happens. You either believe it or
you don't. [Pointing at his math book] This whole book is full of things that have to be accepted on
faith! It's a religion!
Hobbes: And in the public schools no less. Call a lawyer.
Calvin: [Looking at his homework] As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
Remember, God has not gone on vacation and left you in charge.
Give your troubles to God. He'll be up all night anyhow.
When you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
Lucy to Charlie Brown: Sooner or later, Charlie Brown, there's one thing you're going to have to
learn. You reap what you sow. You get out of life exactly what you put into it, no more, no less.
Charlie Brown: I'd like to see a little more margin for error.
Sign outside a church: Come in and let us prepare you for your finals.
North Pole Grammar: Santa's helpers could otherwise be known as subordinate clauses.
Why is the letter T like Easter?
Because they both come at the end of Lent.
Why did Jesus appear first to a woman after His Resurrection?
To make sure the Good News would be spread sooner.
1996 Day of Prayer (May 2) Motto:
Life's hard; pray harder!
What's the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive, anyhow.
The Bible According to Golfers, Fishermen and Other of God's Creatures
A Golfer's Psalm 23: Make my ball to lie down in green pastures, not in still waters.
A Fisherman's Psalm 23: My rod and my reel, they comfort me.
The dog's response to Jesus: Many are chosen, but few come when you call them.
Creation from a cat's point of view: And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts... except, of
course, for cats.
The Second Coming
Jesus said: I am coming soon.
God's soon and our soon are not the same soon.
The Lord is coming soon... Look busy.
BIBLE = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
One whale talking to another:
Whale 1: Upset Stomach?
Whale 2: Nah, Jonah's renovating again.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will
never die.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
Don't knock procrastination. It saves lots of useful work.
Who says worry doesn't help. All those things I worry about don't happen.
Love your enemies. They'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
Blessed are the quilters for they are known as piecemakers.
From Charlie Osborn, A Catholic Evangelist:
- God loves you.
-- How do you know?
- Because He loves me.
-- Yeah, I guess if He loves you, He can love anybody.
At a seminar, students entering the room for lunch found a sign on the buffet table that said, 'Take
only one apple. God is watching you.'
At the other end of the table was a large tray of chocolate cookies with a hastily scribbled sign which
read: 'Take as many cookies as you want. God is back there watching the apples!'
Calvin: You know, I don't think math is a science, I think it's a religion.
Hobbes: A religion?
Calvin: Yeah. All these equations are like miracles. You take two numbers and when you add them,
they magically become one NEW number! No one can say how it happens. You either believe it or
you don't. [Pointing at his math book] This whole book is full of things that have to be accepted on
faith! It's a religion!
Hobbes: And in the public schools no less. Call a lawyer.
Calvin: [Looking at his homework] As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
Remember, God has not gone on vacation and left you in charge.
Give your troubles to God. He'll be up all night anyhow.
When you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
Lucy to Charlie Brown: Sooner or later, Charlie Brown, there's one thing you're going to have to
learn. You reap what you sow. You get out of life exactly what you put into it, no more, no less.
Charlie Brown: I'd like to see a little more margin for error.
Sign outside a church: Come in and let us prepare you for your finals.
North Pole Grammar: Santa's helpers could otherwise be known as subordinate clauses.
Why is the letter T like Easter?
Because they both come at the end of Lent.
Why did Jesus appear first to a woman after His Resurrection?
To make sure the Good News would be spread sooner.
1996 Day of Prayer (May 2) Motto:
Life's hard; pray harder!
What's the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive, anyhow.
The Bible According to Golfers, Fishermen and Other of God's Creatures
A Golfer's Psalm 23: Make my ball to lie down in green pastures, not in still waters.
A Fisherman's Psalm 23: My rod and my reel, they comfort me.
The dog's response to Jesus: Many are chosen, but few come when you call them.
Creation from a cat's point of view: And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts... except, of
course, for cats.
The Second Coming
Jesus said: I am coming soon.
God's soon and our soon are not the same soon.
The Lord is coming soon... Look busy.
